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Host Family Opinions

I have had host families in Japan on about three different occasions. Some were successful, some were not. My longest stay was for one year, and I was lucky in that I got along well with my host family. Here are some tips that I think will help you go get along with your host family as well.

If your host family is found for you through a university, or some other educational organization, your host family will have most likely received 'training' on how to deal with exchange students. Try to find out how many times your family has hosted students in the past. It would also be useful to know of these past students were male or female. If your family has hosted many students in the past, they will probably have their own rules set up and already know what to expect. It is a good idea to ask about any rules they may have as early as possible during your stay. Come right out and ask about curfews, if it's okay to skip meals, is it okay to have friends over, phone usage, etc. There are many little things that you may not think about that can really irritate your host family if not handled carefully.

Curfews

When you go to Japan it is not uncommon for your host family to impose a curfew on you, especially if you are female. Most host families impose curfews for the protection of the students they are hosting. I have heard of curfews as early as 10:00 pm, and those as late as midnight. In my case, I did not have a curfew, but while studying abroad I met many other students who did.

Generally speaking curfews do not get in the way of your social life too much, since the trains generally stop running at midnight anyway. However, if you want to hang out late at night, go to clubs, or stay the night at a friend's house every so often, curfews can be a hassle.

My family did not have a curfew for me to speak of, so I did not deal with this directly. I heard from friends who had curfews that as long as they told their family ahead of time that they intended to go out, and explained who they would be with, and how they were going to get home, etc, most families were cool with it.

Since while you are abroad you are your host family's responsibility, it is important that you do not make them worry about what you are doing. Let them know where you will be and how to contact you, and keep your promises. If you say you'll be home at 9pm, be home at 9pm. No later. Or there could seriously be trouble.

Baths

In typical Japanese homes people take baths in a Japanese style 'ofuro'. Typically, the bath is filled with hot (extremely hot) water in the late afternoon, and everyone shares the same bathwater throughout the night. It is proper to shower and completely clean yourself before you enter the ofuro so that the water is not dirtied.

The order that the members of the family enter the ofuro can be important. Typically, the father enters first. If your host family does not tell you their order ahead of time, it would be wise to ask when you should take your bath. Most likely, your family will let you take your bath first, but not always. In some cases, you may be okay with only taking a shower, which is no problem as well.

Phone Usage

Local phone calls are expensive throughout Japan. It is up to you to talk with your host family about how much phone usage is acceptable. I have seen cases of host families where the host student was expected to pay every penny for every phone call they made, and I have seen host families where they don't care at all about how much the phone was used. Many exchange students with host families in Japan opt to purchase their own cellular phone instead of relying on the families land phone.

Having guests over

If you plan on having friends visit you and want them to be able to stay the night at your host families' house, be sure to discuss it with your family before you start making plans. Japanese homes usually are not extremely large, so space is scarce. Sometimes it can be very difficult for families to have visitors staying in their homes so it is very important to ask before making plans.

Harvey harveybeasley@linuxmail.org

Learn by Movies: Learn by Music: Learn Japanese: Study Abroad Tips: HostFamily Opinions: Survival Guide: Interview - Mayumi: Interview - Sachiko: Why Japanese?