Nankai Paradise - Mr. & Mrs. Smith

A hilarious parody of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. This is why I love Kansai!

The text in the Japanese poster says…

「一瞬も恋に落ちないふたり。おたがい、その原因は外見。」

My unprofessional translation…

“The two won’t fall in love for even a moment. The reason for both of them, is outward appearance.”

The original saying on the Japanese poster for “Mr and Mrs Smith” says, 「一瞬で恋に落ちたふたり。おたがい、その正体は秘密。」

My translation…

“The two fell in love in an instant. The actual reality is a secret.”

The Japanese poster features Shizuyo Yamasaki and Ryouta Yamazato, together known as Nankai Paradise, a comedy combo who do “konto” コント, which is like Manzai, with a story and more physical movement.

As far as I know, their act does not NOT include any spoofs of the actual movie however, only this poster.

- Harvey

Hokkaido Fun #1

Found cheap tickets so decided to take a trip up to Hokkaido and ensure that my plans to avoid all good weather this winter would be a success.

A handy thing about Hokkaido, is that if you get lost, all you have to do is find the nearest “外国人デスク” (Foreigner Desk) and you can get all your questions answered.

Like…

Q: Why do kimono ladies in Hokkaido have rubber shoes over their traditional sandals (草履 ぞうり)?

A: I think it’s so their socks don’t get wet in the snow. I almost slipped and fell 37 times while I was there, so I hope those rubber slipper covers have metal soccer spikes on the bottom as well.

Q: Why is it so friggin’ cold!?

A: Not sure, but this train is frozen.

Funny thing about the Gaikokujin Desk sign though. It’s written in Japanese. So it seems that it is there in case any native Japanese accidently spots the helpful lady behind the counter and thinks that “Hokkaido Railways Information Desk” can provide some useful railway information too. Nope! Read the sign! Step off! This is the Gaikokujin Desk thank you very much. Service for foreigners only?

In all seriousness though, Hokkaido people seemed to be nice. I’m sure this funny sign is just a strange logical way to make things more efficient.

More relevant Hokkaido stuff later!

- Harvey

Takoyaki Home Party!

We have covered a bit on Takoyaki before on JapanNewbie, here we go again!

This time, do-it-yourself (or with 6 friends) Takoyaki. A while ago we had a Takoyaki party at a friends house, and she brought out the very special Takoyaki cooker!

We started eating at 1pm, and had 60 Takoyaki between the 7 of us. That’s 3 rounds on this Takoyaki machine, because as you can see, it can yak’ 20 tako’s at a time. Then, at about 7pm, we did it again and had 60 more!

That’s 120 Takoyaki in 8 hours. Gotta be a record!

Basically you just plug it in, and the iron gets hot. Then you pour in your Takoyaki batter (just flour, water, egg), and then add your pieces of goodness.

The goodness usually consists of Tako (octopus) of course, and the usual green onion, minced ginger and what not… but you can also include crazy things like mochi (rice ball), cheese, chocolate and whatever else is lying around the table. After the bottom gets warm, you stick a toothpick in and spin the ball around, and the not yet hard batter stuff on top will seep down, completing the Takoyaki and creating a round mass.

Once done take them all out and add your Takoyaki sauce, and aonori (green seaweed stuff) on top, and mayonnaise if you like, and you’re ready to go! It looks like a mess now… but really you can get them to end up nice and round like this with some quick toothpick skills.

The good thing about Takoyaki is that once they’re done, you can’t really tell what’s inside!

Yummy!

- Harvey

Naoshima - Art!

I just got back from a trip to NAOSHIMA (直島). There was an advertisement in Kansai Time Out a few months ago on Naoshima, and I made a point to go after reading it. Metropolis had a piece on it as well. Naoshima is just a small island, but has two major modern art museums, and lots of open-air art pieces as well around the island. The major museums are the Chichu Art Museum(地中) and the Bennesse House. There is also something called the “House Project” (家プロジェクト) in which entire homes on the island are turned into one work of interactive art themselves.

The island is really small, very small. There is one tobacco stand, and everyone knows everyone else it seems. The town map has the “cafe” listed. It’s called Maruya. There’s only one. Hilarious. It’s a great cafe though! And hey… nice blog…

Just to give you a feel of what it is like to explore the island, here is a fun picture story for you to follow.

Wow… what is that off in the distance?

Weird. Better get a little bit closer.

What in the blazes!?

Crimey! A giant pumpkin!

That’s Naoshima!

- Harvey

BettyMayo

I went to a New Half bar over the weekend.

Another first in the life of me.

http://www.bettymayo.com

A new-half （ニューハーフ）, is a transsexual in Japanese. I have heard that the reason they are called “new-half” is that, in Japanese the term “half” (ハーフ） means someone who is half Japanese, and half foreigner (usually used for western halfs). The new-half, is halfway between the two genders.

Before the show, the hostesses sit around the tables with the customers. We had a chance to talk with Ruko（るこ）, and Yukino（雪乃）。

One of the new-halfs who work at this store goes to Nova for English lessons. Of course, since they are all professional transsexuals, she goes to Nova as a lady.

She says that no one can figure her out (見抜く）, except for one teacher there who is a homosexual. Apparently they have the sense to figure each other out.

The show was… hard-core? Total nudity. Very confusing.

In other gender news…

Hard Gay is still making a scene in Japan as well.

- Harvey

Hanshin Wins!

阪神優勝！

Hanshin Tigers Win! I didn’t go to the baseball game, but I was sure to get downtown afterwards! This year they had doutonbori blocked by police, and had a giant plastic wall on the bridge so that enthusiastic fans couldn’t jump off into the dirty river below.

I heard that after about 3am the cops left and people scaled the wall to jump in anyway.

さすが関西人

Google Images

Remembering the Baseball

Some crazy fan’s blog

Japan’s McDonalds Japanese

Sometimes I’m not sure if Japanese is more confusing when you don’t understand a word… Or when you understand just enough to realize how confusing it really can be.

パワーの力 - pawaa no chikara - Powers Power.

So, Power’s Power you say. What does that mean? Well I’ll tell you. It means Power’s Power. Kinda like Weakness’s Weakness. Or Might’s Might. You get the pattern?

Remember Mighty Mouse?

What in the world…

And I think that anyone smart enough to figure out what this ad is trying to say, Japanese or not, is [u]not[/u] going to need the hiragana for 力…

Just to be fair. The character 力 DOES have other meanings. Checking over at Breen’s Dictionary…

Power:

力 【ちから; りき; りょく】 (ちから) (n) force; strength; energy; might; power; agency; authority; influence; vigor; stress; emphasis; exertions; endeavors; efficacy; help; support; good offices; ability; faculty; capability; attainment; means; resources; (りき) (n) strength; (りょく) ; (n-suf) strength; power; SP

So… Maybe this means “Power’s Vigor”.

And therefore isn’t weird at all…

Hey. Is this some kind of witty pun that I’m just not understanding? Normally I’m good at this kinda gag… But this… I just don’t get it!

- Harvey

Nagoya Expo

The Expo in Nagoya is over… But actually I went way back in like May.

Actually my favorite booth at the Expo was the MANGEKYO, the giant building which doubles as a kaleidoscope. However, pictures of that don’t turn out so well… So I’ll share the Toyota show with you.

Seriously though, the Mangekyo was very cool. You would enter the building, look straight up, and the top of the building is open, with a giant panes of color and water sliding around. Since it is straight over your head, and the sunlight comes through to light up the display, it really looks like you’re looking at the sky and it’s on fire.. and ice… and on… yellow… and stuff… all at the same time. And moving… After looking at it for about 10 minutes… I think I almost fell over.

Toyota was showing some cool vehicles at the expo. I believe it was called something like the iDrive or iPod or iGopher or i’macheesyTechName… ah yes! i-Move! The vehicle carries one person, and can convert from a reclined position, to a more upright position, while in motion, and while the driver is still inside. Pretty cool! Plus, the whole thing is electric, and runs extremely quietly. Which is a bonus if you want to sneak up on a segway and run it down. The show though was cheesy… yet entertaining. It included people dressed up in what could only be described as iMac meets TRON type get-ups… and had everything from glowing rainbow orbs to fire shooting out of the floor as the iMove’s drove around by remote and saved the neon-suited dancing people. Sorry if my explanation sounds like a drug induced dream… but that’s what it was like.

It was 撮影禁止 so, sorry for no pics.

I’m not sure how practical these would be… but they sure looked cool, and they seem to ride extremely smoothly.

This guy was chillin’ in his crib with his hat all twisted in stuff. He’s dope.

Aichi Banpaku in da house!

I’m out.

- Harvey

Noodle Making

I went to a soba shop in Saitama run by my friend’s parents. This was a rare experience because I was able to go to the shop at 7am and watch the udon and soba being prepared for the rest of the day.

The shop is run by a husband and wife. They get into the shop every morning at about 6am to prepare about one hundred servings of soba and udon to keep the people in the city fed everyday. Of course, the amount they prepare depends on the season as well. In summer, soba seems to sell better than Udon, and on cold says, Udon is popular.

This shop wasn’t a hand-made soba place, instead they use a machine to mix, press, and cut the noodles. The same machine can be used for both Udon and Soba. Basically the Soba is first prepared in a dry powder, and then mixed until fluffy. After that, the mix is run thru the machine and pressed into a sheet. This is redone about 5 times to increase the strength and density of the pack.

After the pressed roll of noodle is ready, the machine is retooled and set up to cut. The same method is used for preparing udon, but in the case of udon the machine cuts each noodle a little thicker. After all the noodles are cut, next is time to boil them.

A giant vat called a “kama” is used to boil the noodles. It was interesting to see the giant pot filled with so many servings of Soba. Getting the noodles out of the pot after about 10-15 minutes when the noodles were done boiling was also a sight to see. My friend, the owner’s daughter said that she could never do that, because of the heat of the noodles, and possible splashing of the water.

Other things in the shop included a big bucket of “nukazuke” 糠漬け. This is a foul smelling mix of a mud like substance that is used to make Japanese tsukemono. You can put any type of vegetable inside for about 6 hours, depending on the type of vegetable… and it will come out with a sour taste absorbed from the nakazuke mix. To keep the mix useable, someone has to mix it around once a day… but if you are diligent and keep it mixed the same bucket can be used for more than 40 years! If you forget one day, it will mold and be unusable however. Sensitive stuff.

I didn’t have the guts to stick my hands in that nuka-stuff. Foul.

Since I was in the shop in the morning I was able to eat “kamaage” udon. The udon hat comes straight out of the Kama into your bowl. Normally, the udon is boiled in the morning, taken out of the kama to sit and cool. When a customer orders, it is dipped into the kama for a short time to heat it up again before serving. The udon straight from the kama was great! Very warm and soft and fresh! I was very lucky to see that, but I don’t think I’ll get up at 6am for udon again!

- Harvey