Japanese Jokes

Hey guys.

I can make Japanese jokes, the type of joke that I enjoy is called, 駄洒落 (dajyare) or, 親父ギャグ (oyaji gag) I’ll show you a few examples, then I’ll describe how they work. Note these, jokes are usually plays on words… Japanese words… so translating them usually destroys them… not there is always much humor in there initially anyway…

Stolen Joke #1
A: 日曜日にパーティがあるんだけど、来なかったら許さんデ!
nichiyoubi ni party ga arunndakedo, konakattara yurusannde!
Sunday there is a party, if you don’t come, I won’t forgive you!

This is funny, because, the slang for “I won’t forgive you”, 許さない。 Is pronounced, yurusannde!! And the last ’sannde’ sounds like SUNDAY, which is, Nichiyoubi. GET IT! HAHA! FUNNY!

One more classic that I stole from this Dajyare database site.

Ah. Before I do this. Dajyare in Japan are known to be くだらない。 (kudaranai). Like… the kind of jokes that would get a glazed over eyes… silence… and low “ohhh myyyy gooooodness…….” kind of reaction if the same type of joke could be told in the States. In Japan, the reaction is usually silence… and sometimes anger. Especially in Kansai.

Stolen Joke #2
A:コンニャク、今夜食う
konyaku, konyakuu
I’ll eat konyaku tonight. (See, translations are totally pointless.)

This is funny because the food is konyaku, and to say, “Will eat tonight” casually, you can say “konya (tonight) kuu (eat)”, so, they sound almost the same… GET IT!? FUNNY!!!

Okay. Here are the GEMS. My Personal, 自家製駄洒落!!!!

Joke #1
A: “How do you say, ’sidewalk’ in Japanese?”
B: “umm… yokomichi?”
A: “nooo.. that’s not it… try again…”
B: “Hodou? (歩道)� (this is what you are looking for!)
A: NARUHODO!!!! (Means ‘I SEE!’ in Japanese)

Gawd that’s a funny joke.

Joke #2 (Usually I beef this out, but, here’s just the punch line)
A: 昨日鎌倉でおしゃれなBambooの箸を売ってる店があったよ~
B: へ~~それで？何か買った?
A:なんにも~Bambooの箸は5000円もするんだ!これタケ~~~なと思った!

A: Yesterday in Kamakura there was a shop selling styling bamboo chopsticks.
B: Did you buy any?
A: Nope, those BAMBOO chopsticks cost 5000 yen! EXPENSIVE!

Funny because slang for expensive, TAKE!!! also means… Bamboo, TAKE.

Now that’s. Comedy.

-Harvey